Mariage problems, shatzy?
... anything people make it out to be?
i say this because i, for one, have certain
beliefs in 'marriage' that could be seen as
both cliche, traditional, and commonplace
as well as non-conventional, different,
and weird.
for example.....
i have no qualms with people that want to
sleep around and be swingers or shit like
that...
what i DO have a problem with... are those
people that bullshit themselves and bullshit
their spouses into thinking they AREN'T
doing it. why not be honest? and why not
from the beginning?
porn? who doesn't?
but what about those that bridge the two?
you know, sleep with a friend... watch
a friend take a shower, or some other
'friend' thing??
again... i have no problems with it. but
when you are bullshitting yourself... and
LYING to yourself and your spouse...
you have a problem.
while i have not reeeeeally touched on what
i think about marriage (for myself) in all
the years i've been here... i have shared
those thoughts with a few people on exactly
what i think.
i personally think its disgusting when i
see someone complaining about their marital
problems and then reverting to other forms
of 'entertainment'. this does not solve
the issue at home... remember that people.
it only gives you a temporary escape.
or does it?
if found out, it will prolly make things
worse.
i think the real question here isn't about
how you can handle your frigid sex life
within marriage... but how well you deal
with the responsibilities you signed up for.
i'm SICK of people being hypocrites....
i'm tired of people like that RUINING it
for someone like me. its because of people
like that which makes the whole process
bullshit.... and makes people afraid to
commit. well no kidding!!! you know why??
because people can't trust you enough that
you will NOT do it... that they can't get
comfortable with you at home in order to
be intimate. its a consistant problem that
will not be solved with BULLSHIT fixes
as described above.
if you have a problem at home... seek the
resolution at home... nowhere else. if the
problem cannot be solved... then you should
have either considered a more mature
relationship with which to become attached...
or learn to work it through.
FUCK THIS! FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!
Mariage problems, shatzy?
i wish .... [img]redface.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]
why do you feel the need to marry? why not just live with your mate and be happy without all the hassle? have you ever had any relationship that lasted forever? most people dont, why fuck with all the paperwork & fighting over who gets what? what are the benefits of marriage? a tax break? or maybe being on someones medical insurance? you get a ring? i just dont get it.........
you cannot escape the institution of marriage
whether you have a ceremony, sign papers or
whatever. if you live with someone long enough,
the institution touches you.
i don't care about a ring. i don't care about
a tax break. i don't even really give a shit
about marriage.
what i do care about, and what this thread is
implying, is the people that make a big deal out
of marriage -- some sacred thing -- and then
fuck it off. its a contradiction.
i'm talking specifically about those that insist
that marriage is 'above it all'... and then
do stupid shit to their spouses just because
they cannot handle the fact that they will have
problems.
for me, i don't care about splitting property
and materials and whatnot. i don't care about
any of that hokey stuff. what i do care about
is the fact that should i find someone that
works well with me, and we have a connection,
to surrender to the institution out of will
as opposed to obligation.
oh... and welcome to the board [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Ha ha, take that, TG!
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ April 23, 2004 09:21 AM: Message edited by: KingBean ]</font>
this isnt about me, nitwit!
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">psssttttt... It's called workin' out the details in advance. [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] LOLOriginally posted by TastinGood:
Sorry. I just dont see how it could be about me.
When married, I'd not exercise the hypocrisy pointed out in the first post.
Funny this..but back in the "olden days"..marriage was a lifetime commitment..divorce was unheard of..you either worked out your problems or lived in a loveless home..or if you chose to divorce were shunned for it..divorce is commenplace now..people get married..then divorced as if they were changing their underwear..even i was guilty of "trying" marriage..and im ashamed of it..but not ashamed to admit it..i had an abusive ex..and you wonder why men do that to women..and why we let them..i should have killed him i reckon.. [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] ..then i had a cheater..did i not give him enough..was i not good enough..or did he just need more than i could offer..god only knows..Now..i decided to never take the plunge again..no point in it..live in sin..that way if it dont work..you can go.. [img]smile.gif[/img] ..hmmm..still not how my heart felt about it tho...then i met Aaron(wynter)..we have been togather for 3 years..and celebrate our one year wedding anniversay may 29th..i think i finally found something out...you both have to try..both be willing to give..both be willing to hurt sometimes..and a whole slew of other stuff i wont bore you with..you know what tho..the point im making...i met my husband on here..the net..yep..i did..i was working hard to make ends meet..my fun time..was the net..i found chat rooms!..wow..people from all over the world..who were lonely like me..bored..broke..and then there were the weirdos..ah well..life aint perfect.. [img]tongue.gif[/img] ..but i think marriages fail because its so easy to get out of them..realtionships fail because no one trys anymore..its to easy to walk off..and wait for the next victim..bottom line..laziness..end of my novel..thx.. [img]cool.gif[/img]
ooo..i meant to add something up there..aaron and i have spent a grand total of 8 hours apart in 13 months..no kidding..i work at home as most of you know..and he is still in the process of getting a green card so he cannot work yet..nor drive..so we are here in a small house..24/7..and i wouldnt trade one minute of our time togather..we argue..we have spats..but we never let the sun go down in anger..thats a practice to live by..it makes for a true caring realtionship..i guess i could say we are lucky..better yet..determined to make it...
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ April 23, 2004 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Blazey ]</font>
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">you got it, babe [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]Originally posted by Blazey:
..but i think marriages fail because its so easy to get out of them..realtionships fail because no one trys anymore..its to easy to walk off..and wait for the next victim..bottom line..laziness..
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